Breaking the Binds That Hold – Chapter 3
Written by Jeldi

Series: X/Tokyo Babylon
Pairing: S/S
Rating: PG-13 (just to be safe)

Here’s the next chapter.  Sorry this took longer than expected! Spoilers up to volume 18, yada, yada.

Disclaimer: As everyone knows by this point, all the X characters do not belong to anyone but CLAMP. This fic is just my mind run rampant, so don’t sue – I’ve spent all my money on Peeps candy (and cosplaying for this summer).

Chapter 3 – Best Intentions

At this time of the evening Ueno was a mixture of shadow and silence, its darkness broken only by the occasional muted lighting of the lamps.  The weather was threatening to turn to rain, the air holding the scent of a winter storm.  Overall, it was not a good night to be out searching the metropolis. 

Kamui had searched most of the quadrant of the city, but to no avail.  He had thus far come up with no trace of Subaru.  Beginning to feel hopeless, Kamui looked again at his printout noting that Ueno had been the last in a long list of futile searches.

He walked back along the sidewalk toward the station dejectedly, torn between continuing his fruitless search and returning to the safer confines of the campus.  Maybe Sorata or Yuzuriha had more luck and they’re waiting back at the mansion, he thought holding onto the last shreds of hope he held for finding Subaru in the vast city.  Sighing, he glanced at a clock in a nearby storefront flashing half past eleven, knowing that he should give in and head back to the campus before the storm truly broke loose upon the metropolis.

Lost in thoughts of this vain endeavor, he paid little heed to his surroundings.  Momentarily the clouds were lit from sheet lightening, drawing Kamui out of his thoughts to stop and glance towards the brightness from his peripheral vision.  Soon thereafter, the thunder mutely sounded as if traveling a fair distance. 

The last thing I need is to get soaked on my way back to the station, he thought, shaking his head.  He made to pick up his pace and turned his attention back to the road in front of him.  He didn’t take more than two steps before he froze dead in his tracks once again, focused on a single silhouetted figure.

Subaru…

*   *   *

Near the entrance to Ueno Park, Subaru stood completely still as if in meditation, focusing on his sole goal; not even the thunder of the storm broke through into his state.  After a moment he opened his mismatched eyes, his expression lacking even a single emotion.  He looked hard into the shadows within the park, knowing the course that lay before him.  Taking a step in the direction that lead down that path, he heard footfalls quickly approaching from behind. 

Simultaneously drawing an ofuda from his sleeve and spinning on his heel to meet the threat, he was taken aback to find Kamui running down the sidewalk toward him.  The action of casting the ofuda was subsequently halted in mid-motion, Subaru’s previously emotionless mask cracked by a mixture of surprise, confusion and even a little wariness.

As Kamui finally reached him, he looked like he had run a two-mile marathon.  Out of breath from the exertion, Kamui had leaned forward with hands braced on his knees gasping for breath.  He was saying something to Subaru but it was incomprehensible through the gulps of air.  Subaru was torn between standing his ground and leaving the boy behind.  His overly polite nature took over and he took the time to tuck away his drawn ofuda, waiting for Kamui to catch his breath. 

Subaru did note that, since the last time he had seen Kamui over a month before, the sixteen-year-old was not fairing well.  Kamui’s cheeks were slightly hollowed as if he hadn’t been eating well, and he showed other signs that Subaru knew all to well as both mental and physical fatigue.  Having pushed the limits of physical health so many times in the past, Subaru wondered why the other Seals hadn’t had Kamui confined to the apartment.

After a few minutes, Kamui’s breathing seemed to even out and he looked up at Subaru.  Though he didn’t intend it, the gaze Subaru returned was the impassive, emotionless mask of the Sakurazukamori.  Kamui first reacted to the mismatched green and hazel gaze with surprise and then confusion and slight anger.

Kamui straightened up, the implications of that gaze not lost on him. He vaguely reached out to Subaru, “Why?” A simple question, but so hard to answer all the same.  “I can understand why you left the Ten no Ryuu…but why this?” He reiterated indicating Subaru’s right eye.  Against the scrutiny, Subaru closed his eyes to block Kamui’s disbelief from his vision.

After a long pause, Subaru opened his eyes but avoided meeting Kamui’s.  “This is something that does not involve the Ten no Ryuu.”  He made to turn away back toward the park, but was stopped by hand on his shoulder before he could walk away.  Refusing to turn around, he looked downward closing his eyes again. 

Sighing in strained patience he spoke, barely above a whisper, “Kamui…I know you don’t understand.  I’m not asking you to…but I must do this.” His voice didn’t reflect the cold distance with which he had originally greeted Kamui.

“What…fill the role HE had?  What is the point anyway?  He’s dead and you’re continuing to let him control you despite that!” Kamui’s voice was building in volume until he was nearly yelling, anger flaring in his amethyst glare.

At the force of the accusation Subaru immediately tensed and his eyes snapped open, the emerald and golden shades reflecting both guilt and pain.  He spun on Kamui, breaking the boy’s hold on his shoulder.  Kamui didn’t anticipate the attack coming, as unexpected as it was for Subaru to lash out and lock his hands around Kamui’s throat.

“What would you know?” Subaru shot back in a cold whisper.  “You think you know why?”  Kamui could do little more than desperately claw at Subaru’s iron grip, gasping out Subaru’s name.  The emotion flaring behind the mismatched gaze was nothing like the tranquil green Kamui had known.  It seemed that Subaru had changed into another person within the space of an instant.

In Subaru’s subconscious mind, the Tree was cajoling him, urging him to continue.  Kill for me, my guardian.  He shall be our first… Slowly, Subaru’s conscious mind caught the threads of influence the Sakura was weaving and his internal defenses began unraveling them. Snapping back to the present, Subaru realized what that influence was inadvertently causing.  Appalled at his actions, he released Kamui pushing the two of them forcefully apart.  Kamui collapsed to his knees a couple meters away and stumbling back a few steps himself, Subaru looked at his hands as if they were foreign entities that had betrayed him.  Kamui was rubbing his throat where there were faint strangulation marks, his eyes glazed with disbelief.  He looked as if he believed the world had lost all reason.

Reality froze for a moment before the wind picked up stirring leaves and hair, played with the ends of their coats.  Another far-off clap of thunder sounded, bringing the world out of its stunned silence.  Subaru calmed from the adrenaline rush quickly and readjusted his shields, effectively shutting out the Tree’s coaxing.  He then looked to Kamui, seeing he had recovered from the initial shock and finding a look of betrayal and accusation returned.  “Kamui…I…”, he began as he reached out a hand towards Kamui, but halted as Kamui shrank back. Retracting the motion, he let his hand drop limply to his side.  Breaking their gaze, Subaru looked downward sighing, regret and guilt apparent on his face.

“I’m sorry, Kamui…if I don’t do this, I might completely lose who I am.” Subaru made to turn away, and leave the boy behind to the cold winter wind.  Facing away, he paused and as an afterthought, “It would be good to stay away from me, if the Tree’s influence is this strong.”  Not expecting or waiting for a response Subaru took a step away, the wind flaring his trench coat out behind him.

A stifled sob reached his ears as he walked away.  “No…Subaru…don’t become the Sakurazukamori…” a whisper, almost inaudible against the breeze.  Looking back over his shoulder, he saw Kamui leaning over braced by his hands on the pavement.  The sidewalk between his hands was suspiciously spattered wet in places and if not for Kamui’s unruly hair, Subaru would have sworn he saw a wet trail down his cheek.

Smiling gently, Subaru turned back and walked over to Kamui. Kneeling hesitantly he placed a hand on Kamui’s shoulder, noting that Kamui did not pull away this time. “Kamui…you misunderstand my goals…”  Kamui looked up at that, unhappiness and lingering wisps of betrayal evident in his violet gaze.  Assuring that his mental shields were blocking his intentions from the Sakura’s consciousness Subaru continued, “I will make my first kill, but I won’t become the Sakurazukamori.  I refuse to become what Seishirou-san was.  Please believe me on this…”

For a long moment, Kamui just stared at Subaru, and in turn Subaru tried to convey as much reassurance in his gaze as possible.  As a teenager, he knew his gaze spoke volumes that he never could vocalize and he hoped it still did. Kamui was the first to break their gaze, nodding once with a slight bob of his head.  Turning, he buried his tear-streaked face into Subaru’s shoulder.  Subaru sat there holding Kamui in a semi-embrace, letting Kamui come to terms with his choice.  While patiently waiting, Subaru thought back to the book he had skimmed through at the Sakurazuka household realizing that not all of the spells were intrinsically “dark”.

After a while, Subaru nudged Kamui’s shoulder slightly and Kamui straightened up regretfully and scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand. “I believe you, Subaru.”

Smiling a genuine smile, Subaru concentrated on an internal chant as he remembered it, saying, “Thank you, Kamui.”  After a slight pause, he raised a hand to Kamui’s cheek continuing, “And I hope you will also forgive me.  I don’t want you involved.” However, before Kamui could protest, Subaru passed his hand over Kamui’s eyes and sent the tendrils of the spell into Kamui’s mind.  Subaru supported Kamui’s unconscious form as he slumped.  Insuring that the binds of sleep were holding fast, Subaru gathered up the boy and carried him over to a bench away from mainstream traffic.

He then pulled an ofuda from his sleeve and chanted a set of clipped syllables, the talisman turning from a flat expanse of white into one of his shikigami.  Focusing his intent upon the spirit-bird, he enforced his will on it to guide the other Seals to find Kamui.

As it flew away toward CLAMP Campus, Subaru cleared his thoughts and without another look back, began walking deeper into the park.

*   *   *

Kamui came to groggily, his brows creasing over still-closed eyes. Not quite up to the task of putting a coherent thought together, he lay there for a while and let his mind catch up with his body.  He couldn’t seem to recall what happened, and why he had fallen asleep in the first place.  The last he remembered was talking to Subaru in the park and then…a blank.

He sat up, abruptly causing his center of balance to shift from moving too quickly and making him dizzy.  Opening his eyes, he came face to face with someone that looked like a youthful manifestation of Subaru kneeling in front of him.  The only problem with that assessment, his spell-muddled brain argued, was that he had never seen Subaru make anything remotely like that expression in the time he had known the onmyouji.  Much more animated and impatient than Subaru had ever permitted himself to show in front of anyone.  Something wasn’t adding up as he realized this wasn’t Ueno and it wasn’t Subaru. And despite the fact this was obviously a dream, it didn’t feel like a dream. Placing a hand on his temples and massaging them, he began to wonder if he had hit his head when his lapsed into unconsciousness.

“Are you paying attention?” Kamui’s attention was abruptly brought back to the present situation by exasperated voice of the youthful Subaru look-a-like, realizing that a hand was being waved in front of his face. “You have to wake up and help my brother before he gets himself killed!”

“Huh?” Kamui responded, still a bit lost by the situation. Finally realizing who this was, he just became more confused. “I thought Subaru’s sister was dead…” As the rest of her statement caught up with him, he looked at her panicked, “What do you mean by ‘getting himself killed’?”

She stood, and sighing impatiently she looked away into the infinite darkness of the dreamscape, her stare unfocused as if questioning the black backdrop itself.  After a moment she nodded and turned her attention back to Kamui.  “Yes, I am Subaru’s twin sister and technically speaking I am dead.  But you should know from hanging around my brother that spirits exist!” Shaking her head, careful not to dislodge the burgundy beret from her head she quickly continued, “We don’t have a lot of time, but I’m here because my brother is about to do something incredibly stupid trying to attack that tree and you need to get out of this spell-induced sleep to stop him. Even though I’m not supposed to get involved in his decision that doesn’t mean I’ll just stand idly by.” Taking a breath, she crossed her arms over her chest, making a very disgruntled face and stated matter-of-factly, “And that is why you have to wake up NOW!”

“But what does that have to do with me?” Kamui asked as he got to his feet shakily, not quite following her logic.

Pointing her index finger right at him, she graced him with a look of disbelief.  “Are you as dense as my brother was at your age?  You’re the only person that has managed to get past that emotional barrier he’s constructed around himself! It is only you that he would listen to!”

“But I can’t get out of this dreamscape since it’s spell-induced. How can I help him if I can’t even break out of this?” To prove his point he gathered a small burst of power and focused it on a “seam” of the dreamscape, letting it loose.  It did nothing more than flare briefly before it was absorbed into the darkness.

Hokuto smiled mischievously, implying she already had a plan in mind.  Looking off again to the side, she paused as if communicating with some otherworldly power.  Colors slowly melted out of the inky backdrop, converging into the form of the Dragon of Earth dreamseer. 

“You…” Kamui started but was at a complete loss of words from this revelation as Kakyou walked up to stand beside Hokuto.

Hokuto grinned at Kamui’s utter puzzlement due to Kakyou’s appearance.  “You didn’t think I got here on my own did you?  Because of that spell I needed Kakyou’s help to enter into your dream.”

“But…why a Dragon of Earth?”

“Is that all you can see? Dragon of Earth and Dragon of Heaven? There’s a little more to it than that.  Let’s just say I asked for the help of a close friend,” she said smiling and taking Kakyou’s arm in hers.  Her smile was reflected in Kakyou’s expression; the sadness that normally plagued his features softened somewhat by the mere presence of the spirit of his special person.

“As I am a dreamseer, I might be able to break through Hokuto’s brother’s spell.” Concentrating on the woven fibers of the dream, Kakyou began morphing them and picking them apart.  At first the dreamscape didn’t change much and Kamui started doubting that it was doing any good.  Though after a few moments, the backdrop shifted from its black expanse into a muted, vague swirl of color. 

Kakyou sighed, his work completed. “You are free of the dreamscape.  From here you can wake of your own volition.”  Never being one for many words, he simply nodded indicating his part was done.

Despite the fact that the one in front of him was an “enemy” Kamui inclined his head in thanks.  It appeared to him as if the others that were tied up in the End of the World were as helpless in this fate as he seemed to be.  There was no clear-cut black and white between sides.

Feeling his body starting to wake from slumber, the colors started to fade, taking the images of Kakyou and Hokuto with them. As his consciousness was fading from the dream back to reality, he heard Hokuto’s last plea, “Sei-chan said that I can’t help him, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to bend the rule any way I can.  Please, go and help Subaru in my place!”

Kamui could feel himself nod to the spirit as the dream faded completely and he woke to the night sky blanketed with clouds back in Ueno Park.